Friday, August 01, 2003
...you can't always get what you want
The time: 7:13 p.m...the day...Friday, August 1...the music...Rolling Stones...the book..."The Rules of Attraction"
Bret Easton Ellis is either brilliant, yet jaded and with an uber-cynical mind, or else he is a complete, raving psychotic. I'd like to be optimistic and vote for the former. This is easily the most skewered (is that a word?), twisted, mind-fuck of a book I've ever read, and I honestly feel sorry for the sorry bloke (thank you, BBC) with the weak stomach who tries to give this book a read. Whoo!
Today was infinitely better than yesterday, which says a lot. Yesterday more or less resembled the puddle of vomit that would exist if Hell ate some bad cheese and decided to purge after the fact. Last night was just as bad as the day at work was. First of all, I can't even imagine what I looked like to the cars passing me by, but I turned into some sort of wannabe yuppie, as I was at the running track with my cell phone in one hand, the headset in my right ear, and a heated conversation passing between the satellite links. I was on the phone with a friend (who shall remain nameless, seeing as how I DO have respect for other people, and I probably shouldn't worry about you reading this, because actually understanding something I write here would require some amount of character depth, which is sorely lacking in your case)...whew...off on a tangent...reeling myself back in...ok, good, here I am again.
You know, people complain. God knows that I do it daily...and for some unknown, cosmically proven reason, people feel the need to come to me when something is wrong. And I'm not knocking that in the least. I feel good about myself when someone else feels that they can approach me with a problem they're having. What I don't like or enjoy is how I sometimes get gutted when I offer some advice, or a point of view. Please, please, PLEASE...don't bring your pseudo-Freudian problems to me, acting as if you're CRAVING feedback, and then throw shit in my face when you get the feedback. Oh yeah. Oh yes, people. My pooch got screwed last night...uh-huh...got accused of being everything from a hypocrite to a fake. Trust me...that went over well.
Everyone is hypocritical to a point, and that's just life...but I don't go out of my way to do so, and I try to keep both eyes open to avoid just that...and fake? I'd like to think that I'm as real as they come. I have nothing extra special to offer the people in my life. What I have is my honesty, and my compassion and my biting sense of super-sarcastic humor. If you come to me with an issue, a problem, a whatever, the truth is all I have to offer you in return. And hopefully, if one is receptive to that, a new point of view will be created, a newer and clearer vision of what it was that was bothering them will be seen...but some insist of running down the path of "being the victim" and lashing out when they don't like what the truth has in store. I believe in honesty. I believe in kinship. I believe that I am of no use to a friend if I sugar-coat an issue. Nothing will be gained by doing that. So, I say what's on my mind. I always have. If it's unpleasant, it's not meant to hurt or offend...it comes from a place of sincerity and of my wanting to look out for whoever. I know that is one huge reason that God put me on this earth, and that is to look after others, so it really does bother me when I get such an adverse reaction, and it saddens me because it just proves that those who I thought were the closest, don't even know who I am. I think it's time for a cleansing, folks...toxicity will not be tolerated any longer. Uh-oh....
So, in better, happier news, I have completed the arrangement for my jaunt to the Windy City. I can't wait, PERIOD. The end of September can't get here an faster, if you ask me. It's going to be a great few days. I will spend some quality time at my Grandfather's grave, that's really the main reason I'm going. But my last two days will be spent downtown, in the heart of it all. One block from Oprah's home, across the street from Lake Michigan, to the left of Rush Street and diagonally across from the John Hancock (snicker) Building...and if I'm not mistaken, during the city jazz festival, which should totally rock...I hope I'm not mistaken....I'd love to take some of that in. So, if anyone wants to go, wants to meet me there....get in touch. It's sure to be what I like to refer to as....GOOD TIMES!
I have rambled my welcome away...better go now. I promise to have something happy posted soon.
goodnight, my hella cool peeps...
paul
