Life in 7 Minutes or Less

Coming Clean

Hi strangers. It's been well over a month since my last blog, and what use would an apology serve? None...exactly. My trip to the big city was one of the most amazing times of my life. It might seem trivial to some, but it packed much more of an emotional wallop than I ever anticipated. It truly felt like home. Not to take us down to the level of crowd-pleasing comedy here, but there's a line in "Sweet Home Alabama" where Reese Witherspoon is talking about her love of New York versus her love of Alabama, and she says something like "I love the city, but this fits too." Granted that was a complete, and probably none too successful attempt at a paraphrase, but that's how I feel about the Coast vs. the City, just in reverse. I love home, I love it here, but the city, it just fit. Like a glove. By the fourth hour there, I think I did a pretty damn good job of blending, although the rampant video footage was probably a dead giveaway that I was a tourist...but maybe one day, I won't actually be a tourist. Who knows. It confuses me, but it's a nice confusion.

The only negative, and this is where I have decided to get personal, was that somehow, the trip was a trigger for some sort of meltdown, or revelation, or whatever you want to call it, because as soon as I got home, I was a different person. I just wasn't happy. I wasn't myself. I wasn't talkative, or social, or charasmatic (hehe) or any of my usual annoying traits, I was depressed...and when I noticed that I was dropping weight that a lactose intolerant elephant, and that I had barely seen or spoken to any of my family and friends, I decided that something wasn't quite right...so, I went to the doctor. And hot damn! A diagnosis. Depression. How embarassing, right? Well, somewhat. I have kept it to myself since then, but low and behold, I have found myself on the "Soprano"-esque sofa of a doctor who must get off on overcharging patients.

It's rough, folks, real rough, the hardest thing I've had to face in a long time. But, I decided to go au natural. No pills. No mind altering drugs. It's my mind, right? Free will, free thinker, that is what we humans are, so I am bound and determind to get control of my thoughts, and more importantly, my chemical (im)balance, and fix myself. Granted it will take longer than popping a pill into my mouth and taking a swig of water to wash it down, but for now, I feel that this is the right way. Not to say that I may change my mind eventually, but it's worth a shot, isn't it? So, this is my emotional bulemia. I have now puked up all of my little secrets on this nifty little blog. Will I regret writing all of this as soon as I hit the "publish" button? I may, but I may not. Human beings are flawed to say the least, and hey, this is just one of mine.

Now, having said all that, I'm going to go now...I'm starting to sound like some hokey motivational speaker, and I don't think I could bear that. So, I wish you all a great night's sleep, and some decent music when you wake up tomorrow.

Goodnight.