Wednesday, September 28, 2005
A.K. (After Katrina) Day 31
Four weeks have passed since the storm made landfall. You would think with a complete month gone by that being able to express what happened and what you see everyday would be a little easier to do, but it's not. With each day comes a small ounce of progress, but the clarity that we all need is far from present. It is still such a surreal existence that we are all leading here. Most citizens who are fortunate enough to still have a job have returned to their workplace. The traffic grows in exponential numbers every day. You no longer hear stories of looting or violence, but you have to wonder if it's all just being concealed so as to not cause more panic.
One by one, merchants are reopening their doors to the weary public. If a restaurant finds itself open, it also finds itself under siege by a surge of hungry Mississippians.
You know, I am sitting here and I am trying and trying to think of what to say and how to say it, but it's just not working out. When I try to relay what I think and how I feel, it's as if my mind leaves my body and cuts off all communication. I think all of us who live on the Coast have reached our points of saturation. We've absorbed all we can and the rest is just spilling over like a pot of boiling water. I try not to say what I really want to say because I would run the risk of sounding spoiled or selfish or unappreciative of what I am blessed enough to still have. But I can't just silence emotion, right? That would make me a false presence...and I don't want to sugar-coat what the people of this region are feeling...and I doubt I'm the only one that feels what I do.
But the truth is, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of everything that's happened and that is still going on. I want my travel time to return to what it used to. I am tired of hearing the horror stories and I am over seeing people cry. I absolutely hate most of what I see every single day. I want to do nothing but run for higher ground, but something inside me is intent on labeling that act as being a traitor to my home. I am tired of being a charity case. I am over having to "dig deeper" for whatever I may be lacking at any given time.
I have these moments of emotional barfing...I'm sure all of us here have these moments. But as always, I am forced to check myself...to slap myself back into reality and humble my soul by looking around me at the very things I want to escape. I have no idea what I'm saying tonight folks, and that's the point I'm trying to make. Clarity? What is that? Where did it go? When will it be back? Please feel free to sit and wait with me until it does...should I check to see if I must take a number?
I have taken quite a few pictures of the parts of the area we are allowed to travel in. I am working on a template to post them here on the site, so just be patient. My friends "The Mick" and "The Cleaner" have started a post-Katrina blog of their own, so I encourage anyone who reads this to check their's out as well. You can find it by pointing your browser to www.grassrootsproject.typepad.com
And if I may venture off on a tangent for just a moment...all too often, we tend to be sickened by what the mass media throws at us on a regular basis, but every now and then, especially in cases like this, you are reminded of the power of true journalism and I just wanted to throw a special "Thank You" out to all of the reporters who have been in the trenches with us, and who have worked tirelessly to bring much needed attention and aide to the area...Anderson Cooper, Rob Marciano, Robin Roberts, Bill Hemmer...the list goes on and on.
Enough now. My mind is tired. It is time for some sleep and hopefully, a good dream...and may you have the same as well...
P.
Four weeks have passed since the storm made landfall. You would think with a complete month gone by that being able to express what happened and what you see everyday would be a little easier to do, but it's not. With each day comes a small ounce of progress, but the clarity that we all need is far from present. It is still such a surreal existence that we are all leading here. Most citizens who are fortunate enough to still have a job have returned to their workplace. The traffic grows in exponential numbers every day. You no longer hear stories of looting or violence, but you have to wonder if it's all just being concealed so as to not cause more panic.
One by one, merchants are reopening their doors to the weary public. If a restaurant finds itself open, it also finds itself under siege by a surge of hungry Mississippians.
You know, I am sitting here and I am trying and trying to think of what to say and how to say it, but it's just not working out. When I try to relay what I think and how I feel, it's as if my mind leaves my body and cuts off all communication. I think all of us who live on the Coast have reached our points of saturation. We've absorbed all we can and the rest is just spilling over like a pot of boiling water. I try not to say what I really want to say because I would run the risk of sounding spoiled or selfish or unappreciative of what I am blessed enough to still have. But I can't just silence emotion, right? That would make me a false presence...and I don't want to sugar-coat what the people of this region are feeling...and I doubt I'm the only one that feels what I do.
But the truth is, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of everything that's happened and that is still going on. I want my travel time to return to what it used to. I am tired of hearing the horror stories and I am over seeing people cry. I absolutely hate most of what I see every single day. I want to do nothing but run for higher ground, but something inside me is intent on labeling that act as being a traitor to my home. I am tired of being a charity case. I am over having to "dig deeper" for whatever I may be lacking at any given time.
I have these moments of emotional barfing...I'm sure all of us here have these moments. But as always, I am forced to check myself...to slap myself back into reality and humble my soul by looking around me at the very things I want to escape. I have no idea what I'm saying tonight folks, and that's the point I'm trying to make. Clarity? What is that? Where did it go? When will it be back? Please feel free to sit and wait with me until it does...should I check to see if I must take a number?
I have taken quite a few pictures of the parts of the area we are allowed to travel in. I am working on a template to post them here on the site, so just be patient. My friends "The Mick" and "The Cleaner" have started a post-Katrina blog of their own, so I encourage anyone who reads this to check their's out as well. You can find it by pointing your browser to www.grassrootsproject.typepad.com
And if I may venture off on a tangent for just a moment...all too often, we tend to be sickened by what the mass media throws at us on a regular basis, but every now and then, especially in cases like this, you are reminded of the power of true journalism and I just wanted to throw a special "Thank You" out to all of the reporters who have been in the trenches with us, and who have worked tirelessly to bring much needed attention and aide to the area...Anderson Cooper, Rob Marciano, Robin Roberts, Bill Hemmer...the list goes on and on.
Enough now. My mind is tired. It is time for some sleep and hopefully, a good dream...and may you have the same as well...
P.
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