Life in 7 Minutes or Less

...lost in generation what?

Clint Eastwood accepts Sean Penn's award and gives his own speech? Nuts.

Anyhow...you know what I hate about Biloxi, MS? We never get the good movies. That's almost reason enough for me to hit the road. Like "Monster," for instance...want to see that movie so bad I can taste it...will it ever play here in humble, conservative, podunk Biloxi? Most likely, not. Send me a big city multi-plex, PLEASE! Ahh, whatever. People in larger cities hate the noise, long for a quiet, small town life. People in small towns hate the quiet, the smell of cow dung, long for a big city life. We'll never be happy, will we? I guess that's why God created the suburbs.

Hey, question...What generation am I a part of? I'm guessing I'm part of the generation too lazy to name itself...maybe the steroids in meat products have a side effect of doing away with all forms of motivation? Who knows. I was just thinking today...how nice it must be to stand for something, you know? To be a part of a quest, or a fight, or a march belonging to something of some meaning. To find something that awakens passion, that makes the eyes light up, to turn your ears red because of the adrenaline that runs through the veins...I hope that before my time has expired, that I'll have found something, a cause, that I'll be able to help out, that I'll be able to contribute time to in hopes that something better will come as a result of that. Or maybe I should just take up traveling as my main pasttime? Whatever.


dream about it...goodnight...
paul

...am I really getting older?

So, it's been awhile, indeed (my apologies for the Nickelback reference in this first sentence). Over two months, in fact. A new year has come, and old one has gone, and to tell you the truth, so far, I can't differentiate between the two. The holidays flew by like there was no tomorrow. I turned another year older (yikes), Christmas was more of an afterthought than an actual holiday, and now I sit here, pondering the future. Yup, it doesn't feel like much has changed at all.

Anyone know the song "Where Do I Start, Where Do I Begin?" by the Chemical Brothers? Well, the title poses a really good question. What the hell is going on here? It's a year of choices, is what it is. Who will I vote for? What classes will I take? Where do I want to visit? Who do I really want to keep in my life? I'm held hostage by this notion that I must pack my belongings and move on, start over, see life through a fresh set of eyes...but where? I sent my resume to Urban Outfitters in New Orleans today. It seems as if that would be a fun place to work...at least while I finished school...which would be a breeze because I wouldn't even have to transfer...I would just register at the downtown N.O. Campus of Tulane and off I'd be. But, could I live in New Orleans? Hmm...I wonder. I do have the urge to spend a drunken weekend there in the near future, but to live there. It would be an adventure to say the least. But what happens after that? Am I willing to leave the life I've built here, or is the life I've built here not worth staying for? Questions, questions, questions...answers? No where to be found.

So, I'll do my best to concentrate on the here and now. Last weekend was a blur. I literally slept through most of it. Went to see "Along Came Polly" on Friday night. As far as the flick was concerned, it was good...funny, painful in the sense that I recited the Ben Stiller speech on why you shouldn't eat mixed nuts in a bar, and I've never even read the script...I just happened to give that same speech once or twice or twenty times before...O.C.D...what have you done to me? Hung out with a couple of friends after that, got in around 2:30 a.m...slept until about 6 p.m. Saturday...woke up, went out, bought some new cologne (Curve Crush...it's good, it's good, it's goooood), picked up a buddy of mine, drove out to E.O.'s for another friend's birthday party, had a few drinks, played some pool, listened to a surprisingly good juke boke selection, laughed at people, talked bad about work (yes, the place I work SUCKS!), babysat my drunken rural friend, got in close to 4:00 a.m...slept until about 1:00 p.m. on Sunday. Got up, ate some food, drove to Circuit City, bought myself a happy, came home, did some laundry, played with my dogs, watched "American Wedding," fell asleep early that night.

If only this week could go by so fast. Folks, this is no major surprise, but I hate my job. It is dead end with a capital SUCK ASS. A monkey could do my job. An organ griding, pocket picking, bug eating monkey could do my job...this Hellmouth I've worked at for the past few years has given me some serious self esteem issues. I'm 26...what the hell am I still doing here? Shouldn't I have a Doctrine by now? Shouldn't I be saving the world by now? Shouldn't I have remembered to pick up my dry cleaning today? Who knows, people? Who knows? One day...one day I'll show 'em all.

Until then, my rant has stopped because I need to go make water...

Goodnight my peeps...much love...much love.

P.