Life in 7 Minutes or Less

...lactose free life

The time: 5:25 p.m. CST...the location: My computer...the music: "Smack My Bitch Up"...the mood: totally fucked.

I've had a hell of a day, folks. How many times do I have to say that I hate my job? I know it must get tiresome hearing those words come out of my mouth, but God knows it's even more tiresome having to say them on a daily basis. But I'll go ahead and do it again, because there's no sense in my stopping now...I HATE MY JOB! Day after day, I walk into this place (I found out that legally, I can't lambast (is that spelled right?) them because they'd sue the Wop out of me) and find myself surrounded with the worst every cliche has to offer. I have the rich, the poor, the lazy one who takes a break from taking a break, the arrogant quadsexual who's warhead needs to be dismantled, the post-gen-Xer who's intent on crying a river for themselves on such a regular basis, that I now make sure to include a floatation device in my daily wardrobe, the chemically fried former rave girl who apparently doesn't realize that your pants are supposed to fit. Seriously, I know more about what she has down t-h-e-r-e than her OB/GYN...control the toe, if you will. And those are just my coworkers...I haven't even begun to delve into the over the hill, wannabe sex pot, bleached haired, geeked up on Dexatrim boss I have to work for.

Well, today I had absolutely reached my limit. So, soon after I lost all quantities of cool and let my temper fly, I did what any respectable, profession employee would do. I walked out, drove home, fixed myself a margarita, hid it inside of a "Big Gulp" cup, and went back to work. It was a quick fix, but it worked. This business is a vicous cycle, and one that I will be ever so thankful to jump out of in the next few months. Before I can save the world, I have to save myself.

The one problem that boggles me is finding a reason for the convergence of the unbearable. When I was in high school, at least I was able to pinpoint a probable cause for all of the oddities that made their way into good old MCHS...we were located directly beneath the interstate (fumes), right next to a bayou famous for it's washing up of medical waste, drug accessories and dead bodies, next to a sewage plant, and last but not least, we sat parallel to numerous sets of high tension wires. So all those elements inevitably combined to create some sort of hellacious environmental effect. I don't know. I digress. I'm going to stop blogging about my pathetic work life.

And this is why I'm angry. I have absolutely nothing of substance to add today...just a venting of anger and frustration and pent up alcohol that I have yet to sweat out of my system. ...ahh, maybe later.

Live long...prosper...fuck the annoying.

p.s. Yes, the one slice of good news I have, the real reason I signed on today...I have an announcement to make...I have found...yes...here it comes...the news you've been waiting for...I have found....LACTOSE FREE ICE CREAM! Yummy in my tummy folks...it's amazing. I haven't had ice cream in years...I just need to work around the fact that it gives me the great ability to "take flight" if you catch my drift...and you'll know if you catch my drift!!! HA!

...a case of the monday's

Is it possible, that if Tuesday fell where Monday resides, that it would suck just as much? What is it about Mondays? What if our work weeks ran from Thursday through Tuesday. Would Wednesday suck just as much? So, today was a day like any other. The sun rose, I dragged myself out of bed, fell asleep in the shower, crawled out 45 minutes later, skin wrinkled and sagging off my bones, got dressed, drove to work, pretended I enjoyed saying "Goodmorning" to most of the people there, tried my hardest to find a place where no one would bother me, instead I got paired up with "Purgatory with breasts," went through the paces, smoked a cigarette at lunch time, wasted some idle time, and drove home around 4:00 p.m.

Now, I'm sitting here. Waiting for my laptop to fully charge so I might finish work on my case study. Food Lion v. ABC. Routine stuff, really. One suing the other for fraud, conspiracy, etc... Hopefully, I'll finish up tonight, unless I doze off on my keyboard again. Just finished watching "Winona Rules" on VH-1...think I'll recommend it to others. I enjoyed it, then again, I personally believe Winona RULES! Yes! She took on Saks Fifth Avenue! You rule, Winona! That's over, I've turned the t.v. off, put on some music..."Where Do I Start, Where Do I Begin?" It's a Chemical Brothers bit...off my "Vanilla Sky" soundtrack. What the hell am I talking about?

Here's a question: Are the majority of people who claim to be happy, really happy? Isn't it a possibility that many people fool themselves into thinking that they are truly happy, and enjoy their life, because if for one moment, they ever realized that happiness was a stranger to them, they'd self destruct? Just a question.

I saw an old ghost today. A person I knew when I was naive to all things concerning life. It was cold. I was cold. At first glance, it became an out of body flashback. Does that make any sense? I felt as if I had re-lived half a decade of life in the span of a few minutes. Remember when life used to be simple? There was nothing but school, attempts to avoid homework, spending time with your best friend and deciding what to do on Friday night. I truly believe that life, at this moment, could be simplified to that level again, if only we would allow it to be. You take "school" out of the equation and replace it with another area of your life, naturally...but I don't think it's a healthy habit we have, craving complication the way we do...the way the world does. Whatever happened to silence? Whatever happened to pausing for a moment? Whatever happened to staring into space? Practices designed to calm our senses have become like kryptonite, in this modern and overly-hyped way of life the universe has adopted. I wish I could change that for everyone. That'd be my world-wide gift...

...goodnight.
p.

p.s. Get the "Vanilla Sky" soundtrack...it really is worth it.

...the beginning

Welcome to my new blog. Hmm...was that a shitty opening line, or what? Is this supposed to be an online journal? If so, then I suppose I shouldn't write it as if I am speaking to you (whoever you may be) and I should just write it as if I'm transcribing my own thoughts, right? Or...is this just a forum designed to allow me to post my thoughts and feelings on life and the world around me? Or...am I just dissecting this a bit too much, and I should just write without worrying what this really is? I guess I'm going to vote for the latter.

In any case, here I am. Cynical and jaded as ever...ready to conquer the world as long as I don't have to exert myself too much. I don't have much to say at the moment. I could try to pinpoint a problem area in my life and expand on that...but which one should I choose? A-ha! A sign from GOD! My cable just went out as I'm sitting here typing this. That pisses me off. Let's talk about that, shall we? Cable companies are the work of the devil. They pride themselves on being a monopoly, knowing that while you may have an abundance of options in front of you, creatures of habit, such as myself, will still fork out an obscene amount of money because it's the only thing they know how to do. Ok, and that's a wrap on cable companies, because frankly, I'm boring myself.

Should I bring this place up to date on where I've been since I last blogged? Hmm. Well, the movie that was "in production," the one I mentioned on my last page, well, suffice to say it never came to be. The writings I collected that I wanted to try and publish...never came to be. Do we see the trend here? I jumped back into the land of academia full force, and it's killing me softly...no wait, slowly. I, yes, me, am trying to break into the legal field. "What the fuck?" you ask yourself. 'Tis true, my peeps. I want to save the world, so this was the most logical opportunity to do so. I would join a mission or the Peace Corps or something along those lines, but I'd be of no use in the field. I'd contract dysentary (did I spell that right? It doesn't matter, really, you know what I mean...I'd get the shits) and be out of commission. Some small tribe of natives in a run down, war torn, rainforest-esque area of the world would be wondering where this little white boy with bowel problems came from, and dance around in prayer form to try and send me back.

Ahh...now you can clearly see that the one thing that hasn't changed is the fact that I can still ramble with the best of them. So, taking a cue from myself, I'll end this while I'm ahead...and tell you one last thing. I'll be posting some writings here, from a grouping I've made that I plan on submitting to an amateur author's competition...and yes, I do plan on doing so, so maybe that'll be something to look for. If I know you, just be kind in your criticism. So, I wish you all a good night's rest, a happy awakening, and a day that is a bit more bearable to get through than the last one you wish was easier...

bonsoir.